i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
