this beer tastes like vomit already
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
