What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
