my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
