i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
