After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
