Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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