You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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