i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
