forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
