Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
