I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
