I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
