a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
