i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
