What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
