i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
