come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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