if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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