if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
