And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
