can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
