yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
