Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
