Your favorite bartender is back from prision
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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