i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
