I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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