is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
