That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
