Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
