the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
