it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
