i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
