I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
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Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We left an ass print on the piano.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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