literally had 100 drinks last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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