Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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