she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
