Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
