what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
