She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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