After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
