i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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