I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
