If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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