I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
