Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
