Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
