I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
