This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize