the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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