No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize