I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
