end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize