you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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