i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
