this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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