He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
